Hello, Sploder community. I hope no introductions are needed, for I have applied to be a reviewer at least ten times now. Introductions are boring anyways, so let's get to the good stuff, shall we? Today, I will be reviewing a game by religious2, "Basketball Physics."

          I'm assuming that everyone knows of this game, or at least everyone who has scrolled through the featured games list recently. I first found this game by doing just that looking for nothing in particular, when a title and thumbnail caught my eye. Being a fan of basketball, I was immediately drawn in by this game, thinking "A physics game for basketball, what a great idea!"

Level 1

          The game impressed me from the start, opening with a nice, quick and creative intro, which was a nice change from the usual half-a-minute long intros in average physics games. You simply push the CD into the- wait. What is that? What am I putting this CD into? A black, thin box with 3 buttons colored red, yellow and green. A miniature traffic light? Perhaps?

Level 2

          My first thoughts when I entered this level: Nothing. I had nothing to say about this, I didnt even have anything to think about this.

          Objective: Get the ball into the hoop. It's that simple, isn't it? Of course not.

          You only get three balls. That means one, two, three, you're done. Then you have to click retry, and start the whole level over again.  No, but let's not stop there, why don't we make it even more of a pain with you having to figure out, you have to shoot one of the balls at a switch, to even make it remotely possible (No pun intended), by opening the gate to the hoop! Okay, now you have TWO balls to use. Oh, and let's make it even less possible with the hoop MOVING, with the only way you can get the ball in is by shooting it into the small open gate. But no, let's just strip the game of almost it's entire possibility, by making it so the shots can't even REACH the top of the wall!   

          I've tried absolutely everything in my power to make that ball get into that hoop, but you have better luck peeing into a shotglass spinning on a record player strapped to a running cheetah's back while unicycling on a tightrope blindfolded.

          Trust me. When I say I've tried everything, I mean everything. I've tried bouncing it off of the platform with the switch on it, I've tried holding down the mouse button to maybe "charge my shot," but it just keeps spitting out balls.

          Well, after about a half an hour of frustration, I FINALLY figured it out. You have to do this perfectly. Use all three balls, and if one ball does not do what you intended, you have to restart the whole level. So here's the rundown for you;

Ball One: Hit the switch on the side platform to open the gate.
Balls Two and Three: Aim for the giant basketball at the top of the screen, and rapidly shoot both so the third one knocks the second one into the big ball. This will push the ball at the top down the ramp, and then all you can do now is pray. Pray that it goes into that moving hoop. So unless you are some kind of mathematical genius, you're not going to be able to calculate exactly when to shoot so that it goes into the moving hoop without hours of trial and error. But now it won't take hours because I have the solution. You have to wait until the hoop is in the middle of the gate area, and THEN shoot the balls. It will go to the other side and come back to the middle by the time the ball gets down there.

          I play basketball on my High School team, and I know for a FACT that this is not how basketball is played. I thought that this was some foreign way to play basketball, but no. Nobody in the world, at least in their right mind, would play basketball like this!

Level 3

        Well, I can't really complain anymore, since I made it to level 3. Now this level looks like a real basketball game. There is a hoop directly in front of your view. But of course, there is some peculiar way you have to do this. The level description states "New addition, birds spit to protect their nests. You can figure out the rest yourself!"

          That's nice, more stuff I have to figure out for you. You're so lucky to have a friend like me. But now this level is bothering just by reading the description. Shouldn't the beginning of that sentence say "new edition?" And if I was a bird, I don't think I would be spitting to protect my nest. I am no animal scientist, but I am pretty sure that if a machine was shooting balls at my nest, I wouldn't be spitting for protection. But for some reason, it works. The bird spits on your basketballs, and they explode. Alright, forget logic for this game.

          I tried everything for this level, but I just cannot figure out what I am supposed to do. There is a mechanism with a basket on one side connected with a chain. A wrecking ball hangs on the other side, and the spitting bird nests in the middle. I have tried shooting the balls into the basket but the spit keeps making them explode. I also tried hitting the wrecking ball with the basketballs, but it does nothing. Well, I am now at my wits end with this game.

Errors

Level 2: After hitting the giant basketball, the mechanism that pushes the ball down the ramp starts going into a spinning frenzy.

Level 3: Game description says "New Addition." This may literally mean that it's a new addition to the game, but I think it's supposed to say "New edition."

Is the game being impossible an error?


Final Thoughts

          Well, I am left with many questions after playing this game; Is it supposed to be possible? Does religious2 know how to play basketball? Perhaps these questions will never be answered.

          Do I think that this game deserves to be featured? It's frusturating, illogical, and too difficult, but it's creative and original. I believe it's in the right spot on the featured games list.

Report Card

Creativity- 10/10
Originality-10/10
No Errors- 7/10
Fun- 3/10
Replay Value (Would I want to play this again?)- 2/10

Total: ☆☆☆ 1/2 (3 1/2 of 5 Stars)


Conclusion

          I know it is not fitting to review the game fully, but this IS my application, and if I get accepted I will try to review the game fully. But right now, I am just trying to give you the feel of how my reviewing works. I do hope that I am accepted, and if I am, I look forward to working with all of the wonderful staff that Sploder has to offer. Seriously. I have been trying for over a YEAR to become a reviewer. Thank you for this oppurtunity.

Thank you.

You've finally revealed your pretty face C:. I'll do mine

Thank You  .

Well thanks Bob.